I'm 13 and totally sure I'm ready for sex.

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The questions to ask yourself about sex You need to have the confidence to work out how you want to respond if sex comes up and how far to go. The first time me and my girlfriend of six months tried having sex I got so nervous that I couldn't get an erection.

The first time me and my girlfriend of six months tried having sex I got so nervous that I couldn't get an erection. Still, it's not a decision to be made lightly. How do I prepare for sex and protect myself?

Are you ready for sex?

But how often do we actually hear the nitty-gritty details of how we might actually achieve those things. Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a based in San Francisco, to help us out with the specifics. Q: I started dating someone new a few weeks ago, and things are going very well. I always struggle with when to sleep with someone new. A: Sexual decision making is tricky for most of us. There are so many different factors at play — the excitement of being with someone new, social expectations, gender roles, not to mention sex drives and hormones. I know, I know, this is the hardest part of the equation. But it's important for you to take the time to figure out what you want from sex at this point in your new relationship. Don't ever have sex because you're feeling pressured to or because you feel like it's expected. Do you want to fool around and have a good time. Do you want to move your relationship to the next stage. Part of knowing what you want from sex involves getting to knowfor example — is being monogamous before you have sex with someone important to you. Consider some of your past sexual experiences, and use them as guides. Have you slept with people too quickly. Keep in mind that sometimes knowing your sexual boundaries involves a little trial and error. Doing the deed isn't automatically going to push your partner into starting a relationship, becoming monogamous, proposing to you, or falling in love with you. If you want your relationship to become more serious, tell your new beau that you'd like to sleep together, but that you want to have the talk first. If you've identified values that are important to you, stick to your guns. At the very least, be clear that condom usage is a must. These kinds of conversations can be uncomfortable in the moment, but that doesn't make when am i ready for sex any less important. Everyone experiences twinges of sexual guilt or shame. But there's when am i ready for sex big difference between feeling a little anxiety and feeling like you betrayed yourself. Consider how you think you'll feel afterwards, and if you know you'll feel badly, consider waiting. Is there enough sexual chemistry to make you curious about taking the next step. Do they follow through on things when they say they will. Have they made you feel comfortable and at ease those times you've done everything but. Are they pressuring you to have sex?.

Both of you have a responsibility to have this conversation. If you're not sure you can stay in control, avoid situations that could lead to sex, such as going to someone's room or somewhere quiet. Feeling comfortable also means knowing that the person goes into the bedroom with an open mind, that they're into providing pleasure to their partner and not just seeking their own, and that they'll be appreciative of what happens, no matter what. Sometimes it seems like everyone your age is having sex. } }, { type: HowToStep, position: 6, itemListElement: { type: HowToDirection, position: 1, text: Consider talking to someone who cares about you. However, the more open you are with your partner, and the better the communication, the more likely you are to both feel at ease. You should never give in to peer pressure, and remember you can always say no. Keep in mind that even if you consent, if you are not within the age of consent, then your partner could get into trouble. There's no wrong boundary to set, though, and it's important to , whether you're heading out on your first date or your 31st.