Guys Dish on What That Text Message Actually Means

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I had his fb password and he didnt know. He might not even like you! Give me 10 minutes to Google something.

My oldest grandson has known him his entire life. After all, if he likes you he would want to talk to you, right?

Guys Dish on What That Text Message Actually Means

In fact, I think I have an easier time explaining why men do things than I do with women. I have been writing about for a while now and over the years I have noticed some prominent points of confusion, ones that seem to be shared by women of all ages from all around the world no exaggeration. I can relate to all the questions we receive on a personal level because once upon a time, I too was banging my head against the table in an effort to understand why. Read on for universal male truths that can save your relationship and your sanity. Most men see texting as nuisance. You measure the depth of a relationship by the quality of the time you spend with that person. You can spend all day going back and forth with some guy about nonsense. Countless studies have shown that women primarily gain their sense of worth and self-esteem through their interpersonal relationships while men measure their worth based on their ability to have an impact in the world and contribute in a meaningful way. If a man is at work, then that is the sole center of his world and nothing exists outside of that. This is hard for most women to understand because women can switch from one task to the next and back again with much more ease. Men intuitively know that words are important to women. Love is a big and scary word for a lot of guys. If he is there for you, if he is considerate of you, if he goes out of his way for you, if he opens up to you,. Yes, that is correct. The only problem is he has no idea how to do it. If you want him to give you what you want, tell him what it is that you want! When he does something you like and appreciate, acknowledge it and reward him for it. Show him how happy it made you when he did such and such. Nothing is more attractive and appealing to a man than a woman who is thoroughly happy with him. When he sees he can make you happy, he will be motivated to do whatever he can to keep you happy. I tell him all the time to bring me flowers and call me more and take me out and nothing changes! If you discourage him or nag him, he will feel defeated and will from you. Guys will resort to all kinds of excuses to avoid being in an — this usually has nothing to do with you and everything to do with his natural aversion to being tied down more on this in 5. BUY THE BOOK: It may sound like an immature game, but why would he or should he put in more effort when he can get the exact same reward? If you can get something for less, you will happily take it and would be a fool to offer more than the minimum amount. This happens in relationships all the time. Their number one concern is losing their freedom, always. Does this mean all men want to run around and sleep with every female that crosses their path? However, they will do whatever they can to hold onto the fact that they can go out and do whatever, whenever, for as long as possible. The nature of a man is to seek newness; men love to live in a world of unlimited possibilities. The best thing you can possibly do is continue to have a and a life outside the relationship. A lot of women let the areas of their lives that used to be important fall by the wayside as soon as they get a boyfriend. When you no longer have these other things filling you, you will inevitably turn to your man and the relationship to fill in the empty space. Suffice to say this kind of situation never turns out well. Just be the best version of yourself. I hope this article helped you better understand how men operate. But there is something else you need to be aware of before you proceed. There is one pivotal moment in any relationship that will determine if you last longterm, or if you end up heartbroken and alone. At some point, a man will pull away and he might start losing interest. Do you know how to respond? If not, you could make things even worse and wind up fully pushing him away so be sure to read this now: The next relationship-deciding question a man will ask himself is: Do I want to commit to this woman for the long term? The answer will determine everything. Do you know what makes a man see a woman as girlfriend material? Do you know what inspires a man to commit? Buy it today on Amazon:. Thank you so very much. I now understand more about men without asking them directly, which can lead to the misunderstanding. Your advices are so helpful and it made my day. Thank you again very much. But I always have to start conversation and I have to wait along time to get a reply. I did consider in his place since he was working but the problem is that he would never start a conversation unless I start. Sometimes I would doubt if he really love me or just dating me for fun. January 11, 2018, 10:34 pm My partner was never good at texting or calling me since we first started hanging out. After we began an intimate relationship, I expected to hear from him more. I would text him almost every day and I would hardly get responses. He rarely answered the phone. January 2, 2018, 12:26 am I am in long distance relationship for last 5 months. We were planning to meet soon but off- late I have seen major changes in my boyfriend. He was always very supportive and cared about everything. He has stopped talking about future and stopped calling me, we have spoken on phone only once since last month. This is getting very difficult for me to understand as we are constantly in touch via texting the whole day! But when I ask to call he just simply avoids it and this kinda started to hurt me a lot. I am not sure what he is looking for in this relationship. I do not want to talk about this topics over texts and wanted to talk to him over call. Please me understand why is he behaving very weird like this. He had gone through a breakup just before we met 2 months. Im not sure if he still mourning over it. We hit it off really well, and would talk all day via text. We had a blast talking to each other and after a couple of weeks went on our first date which went extremely well! A few days passed, and his texting decreased. I asked him out for a second date which he happily agreed to. We went out a second time, and again he informed me that he had a lot of fun. I asked him if I pushed him away or if he was upset and he told me that he actually thought he was boring me and that he pushed me away. We cleared everything up and moved on. That made me happy! If he truly is interested in me, why would he stop talking that much? I mentioned how we should go out again sometime and he agreed but no definitive plans were made. Any advice is appreciated : September 8, 2017, 11:58 am Hey Lianna, I hate to tell you this, but this guy is lying to you. Audrey Hepburn always kept a few other fellas on the back burner until she had a ring on it. Do you really want a guy who takes you on a date and deadspaces? What about if you sleep together on a fourth or fifth date and he deadspaces? How will you feel after that? Fuck this guy, he is wasting his chance and you should take your ball and play in another sandbox. February 27, 2018, 2:29 pm Hello there was a guy in the same class as me. And that action of him makes my heart flutter. I feel weird at first because he never talked to me before but staring at me with a serious face its sure catch my attention. It keeps on like this for a few days. At first i didnt want to think about it so i just ignore it. But recently he suddenly teasing me and looking and staring that makes me feel akward, happy, flattered. I tried to ignore it even my heart flutter more and more. Few hours after that he sat beside me and i am eating. It makes me felt akward and nervously but i tried hard not to make it obvious. He suddenly talked to me and for sometimes i thought he is not the one who talking to me. So i look at him a few seconds just to confirmed it then answered. After that when we walked in the hallway i saw him looking at me and smile so i smile back. Is he interested in me or what? He never intiated texting or calling me. It seems that i am the one who is more interested, liking and into him July 11, 2017, 6:02 am Hi. Before the begin of our relationship we were seeing eachother when I have class but after we started a relationship ,we never went out toghether! He says love me but I think we wont have a good relationship. Is it love that he cant spending time with me? June 6, 2017, 11:12 am Need help I have been married for 14 years. Since January I have had a persistent man want to sleep with me. He said he would not lose anything or give it up. I left when I did he told me to be careful. The next day he wanted me to come by. He said he had been intrigued by me for a very, very long time. I asked him how since he had an awesome girlfriend he says it was just me my hair, my voice, my eyes how I treat people. Out of he blue he said he was thinking about me and wanted to know if I was doing ok. Then still today he wants to get together for sex even though I have turned him down the part 5 months, I fkn to is why he would persue for so long. Am I reading him wrong??! And from there we began to text to each other on every day. I mean, every single day. He texted me first while me, just continuing the chats. But when I was about to end the conversation, he definitely will bring up a new topic just to make sure that our conversation will keep going.. And then he stopped from texting me. Few days later, he text me back. I realized that he had put so much effort to gain my attention maybe, i am not sure.. And he suddenly stopped from texting me.. February 12, 2017, 2:32 am he might have liked you in the beg, like he saw you and thought you were a nice girl or he thought that you were pretty so he would text you everyday because that is when he was intereste and was trying to get somewhere.. From my experience when I was in highschool and even some time ago at work.. Our relationship was really in a good place before he left. We met several times a week, always had a great time and we have been exclusive the whole time. We have however not put any label on our relationship as it is a bit early for us both to feel stressed. Please help me to get some sense into myself! My friend and I were having a coversation, and she asked me was I looking to date anyone. Funny enough, she said I think more like a man, and from reading this article I can see what she means. And rest assure for him, he can have his freedoms whether it be choosing to hang out with his friends instead or wanting time to himself, the feeling is very mutual. I had this friend we were super close.. Is not like facebook notifes you.. May 22, 2017, 3:04 am My boyfriend and I live long distance right now and he is busy most of the time. After all he had promised to contact each other often. He just dealt with his feelings differently than I did. While I was reaching out to him for support, he threw himself head over heels into work and university, which meant less time for me. Or that he maybe even saw someone else. Whenever I talked to him about it, he would get so upset. Why, despite always being respectful and attentive, he constantly needed to prove himself to me. That most of the fears I had were my own insecurities and that I made him responsible for how I felt, instead of taking care of myself. Giving space can make room for love. He has been working crazy hours and our schedules are opposite of one another. Our acquaintanceship is only 2 weeks old and falls under the ldr category as he travels for work. My ex never asked about what I did during the day especially while in the middle of kissing him. March 6, 2017, 7:56 pm Why do you think these so called relationship experts write these books for women??? They could care less. I have been through hell with trying to understand guys, I think they need to try to understand us a lot better. March 8, 2017, 2:09 pm i lik dis article,am datx a guy for a year nw and he says he loves me and wants to get married to me. Theyre a free, no effort communication. Players use them to stay on your radar, at their convenience. Unless the text is to arrange a date, lose my number! If a man wants to see you, he will see you. Not text about boring trivial stuff! September 11, 2016, 1:34 pm This Monday my boyfriend stopped texting me everyday like he used too and I started to notice the difference. That day and yesterday he sent me a goodnight text with kiss emojis and today nothing. I know he is free because the ACTIVE NOW status on Facebook messenger not trying to be a stalking girlfriend. So if I break up with him starting next Monday, is it regrettable? We have never argued, criticize each other, call out names, etc…, We have plans for my birthday and for Halloween and I would not like to ruin those plans. We are a weird couple with energy and sense of humor. September 8, 2016, 1:40 am I think you shouldnt care too much about text. Ii realized it is driving me crazy because sometimes i saw him online but not replying my msg. Then I questioned him, he said he is not a fan of text message, when he thinks there is nothing important to say, he wont text back. But it does not mean he doesnt care about you. Guys just does not care about text. So we shouldnt too! October 24, 2016, 11:06 pm I stopped reading this article as soon as I read that women value their relationship more than men do. Men are just as insecure in texting and time differences as women are. In fact it is my experience that I was not insecure about the texting issue until men brought it to my attention. Men and women are not so different in regard to issues like this. Thank you SO much. After reading this I was CRAVING to read this kind of good judgement in AT LEAST ONE comment. You have expressed EVERYTHING I would have written. Women, men, every one: have common sense. Be who you are. And have the integrity to give it yourselves. January 2, 2017, 12:32 am One thing that people tend to forget is we as a species are really not that much different than any other animal. Interested people should do research on the similarities between the mating habits of humans and lower animals. They may be surprised at the results. I would say that this is a pretty opinionated and sexist comment. Just ask female scientists, doctors, surgeons of which there are many. I have been getting to know this guy by text since the beginning of the month, we chat continously during the day. Until recently where he would skip an entire day and then the next day chat like normal, continously for the whole day, and then skip a day again…. What exactly can it mean if a guy does this? June 10, 2016, 9:21 am I met this guy recently and he and I were attracted to each other and eventually we discussed and decided that we just want to be friends with benefits and nothing more , it took of in that note however more than just engaging sexually , he used to want to catch up he used to call me every day post work , check on me everyday during work and then 2 weeks post that we eventually did it , post which the calling. And catching up continued , he used to say things like I make him happy and he liked spending time with me etc , I was in a little puzzle cause ideally friends with benefits does not work that way. When we spoke the last time things were all okay! I am so confused I dint even know what to do , does he want something more and is his ego stopping him from saying that? Cause some how his actions dint match what he says May 8, 2016, 11:01 am Well my boyfriend has told me we are in break and he is claiming we both are single. Is that officially or not. He talks to me one worded. He is in that position because he has a lot going on in his mind. Its so hard how he does it. He has his own my set and I do too. But figuring it out is not my intention to do. I mean I love the guy and he says he loves me.. He doesnt even want to talk to me for now. Whats going to happen to our rsltionship? April 19, 2016, 11:03 am Men are not the only ones who have searching for newness in their nature. This is one thing that is consistent across the board, however the older you get the more boring searching for the new becomes. You will eventually realize that all those butterflies that accompany a new relationship will fade with every single person you have them for. Players are emotionally unavailable for true or lasting relationships. Players are unwilling or incapable of giving to the other person exactly what is necessary to make the relationship work. They play the game only to their advantage for as long as it will work. This is always a disadvantage for the person who is not a player. They respect each other and consider the other person a priority in their lives. They want to find out what makes the other person happy and when they do it makes them happy too! Players are emotionally unavailable for true or lasting relationships. Players are unwilling or incapable of giving to the other person exactly what is necessary to make the relationship work. They play the game only to their advantage for as long as it will work. This is always a disadvantage for the person who is not a player. They respect each other and consider the other person a priority in their lives. They want to find out what makes the other person happy and when they do it makes them happy too! A player will never give you a true relationship. Instead, a man wants to get away with anything he can with the rationalization that he is incapable of doing better or does not have the strength to do it himself. What a lousy excuse! Should a man blame a woman for his own selfishness in taking advantage of her? Man up or continue to be a loser, dude! You need to grow a set, dude! Try thinking about others instead of only yourself! March 28, 2016, 5:11 pm Interesting article. The irony is that the roles are reversed in my case. The guy does everything mentioned in the article that a girl does and vise versa. I like him, I really do, but I need my space too. This guy texts me every single day. I went on a birthday camping trip in the middle of nowhere woods. And yes, communication is key. Texting me everyday is not necessary. Yes, girls feel that way too. March 23, 2016, 2:40 pm hi! I was 30 he was 18yr. He lied said he was 25 We got on well then I fell pregnant 2 months into the relationship.. He started doing things that are wrong to do if ur in relationships. He started going online social networking sites. Even when I was pregnant he still chose to deny that he had been on it, even though the evidence was there.. But this is the twist of it all He had been hurt by his ex girlfriend. But then she stopped liking him which he noticed. He began liking her and he got with her. They broke up coz she was acting different from before. He was told she was usein him to get her ex boyfriend back. And she thought he was using her just to live in the house. He walked out and never want back.. I thought it was his ego hurt. He still had strong feeling for her and he would consider getting back with her if she tried.. We talked a few times, but I only get to see him every Tuesday. So a few weeks ago he said he will be changing routes, so I decided to give him my number. Does it mean he is already taken? February 22, 2016, 11:50 am Hi. Im dating a guy which is famous in my country where i live! I met him on the beach on summer and after that hes been texting me and trying to go out on a date which ive been refusing it all the time! What am i supposed to do? He used to be such a lover boy, im not saying hes not now i was just used with his nonstop texts and now he doesnt even text for a day or maybe i should text him first for him to replay. Im falling for him and i dont want to get hurt. After reading this I feel a little bit better. On the other hand, we all like getting attention. They do, however, get frustrated occasionally by someone who demands more and more of their time when they think their actions have made it clear they would like time to themselves. A final note: as far as communication goes, guys appreciate and respect directness. If you like him or something he does, tell him so! If he likes you, he wants to impress you and make you happy. Making our women happy is what us guys live for. A lot of the time, though, you have to teach us what you want … often several times, and very clearly. February 19, 2016, 12:47 am Okay people there is a reason for everything. He is having an emotional affair on you. Why would he need to talk to you, if he already has someone to talk to. This means he is keeping you around for something he may need. They have emotional affairs. A man can have emotional affairs with men, and claim go be a straight guy. Also you could be just the girl he uses to pass time traveling to work and from work. And an occasional roll in the hay. All the while he is calling you his girl friend. Never put all your faith in a relationship in the first 3 to 6 months. People can fake who they are and disguise theit motives. It just happened to me. And this article is crap. And men who refuse to talk on cell, only do after they have had a load of sex with you usually. When the honeymoon for them, is over. Then the woman know they got played. They are rushing tthings to get what they want without earning you. In the first few months of meeting you, only accept calls during the day, this means lunch time til 8pm Your adults hours is your business. Back off from him, distance yourself. Give yourself a few days at least of know phone communication, to help you emotionally detach from someone who is obviously stringing you along. Flat out tell them, this is not how you see a healthy relationship, and going to date others. If they get an attitude just hang up cell or walk away cause they would do it to you, blow you off and have by being unavailable all the time except sex days Also there are guys who love to talk to women and want to bond emotionally, go after them ladies. Talk to them for months before any sex. And why because he wanted to just control and see if I was with someone. But during the day, barely texted or called. First off, women should never reach a man how to treat her with love and tenderness. He needs to do his own research in his free time. Research how a man can woo his woman, sweet her off her feet…etc. Women do their research to find out how to please a man, man do yours. Your guy was suppose to be your best friend long before you ever had sex with him, or you wold never have communication and commitment problems. I am a woman with few meaningful relationships—just with my parents, an aunt, and maybe cousins I see once a year. My primary sense of self worth comes from my academic and professional achievements. I deeply care about how much of an impact I have on the world. January 17, 2016, 1:17 am MNRC — Totally agree. August 28, 2016, 5:00 pm Now its not that i think you dont make sensible points but they are very very VERY general. I hope nobody takes you seriously. January 1, 2016, 9:18 pm Dear Sabrina, I came to know this guy when we took the same course and we know each other now for more than 3 years. He showered me with simple gifts when he travelled. We hit it off quite well and then I started to develop my feelings for him. However, after a while, he texts me less frequently and seldom buy gifts for me when he travelled. I confessed to him half a year ago and tell him that I really like him. He told me he has girlfriend and cannot give me anything. I told him we cut all contacts, but after a few days, he would still text or email me. We argue a few times on this but every time we would patch back whenever he started to contact me. Lately, he started to dirty talk with me and we even went to a hotel room to be intimacy. I asked him why he does that to me if he cannot commit but he says he wants to make me happy. Could you please tell me if he really only sees me as a friend with benefits or does he has any intention to further the relationship with me? I am very confused and vexed over this. Many thanks, LC December 23, 2015, 10:56 pm I have to agree with the article for the majority of what it postulates. When we get text over-load it shows an obsession and desire to RUSH ahead with the relationship and fast-forward to a WAY TOO SOON engagement or something. I was seeing a few women casually after I exited a LONG-TERM relationship. Naturally the women began to move towards the premise of 4. I was totally fine with that for all but one, so when I saw that coming I made the plunge to be exclusive with her. Freedom is being able to stay up till 3am somedays and watch TV. Go out for Sushi then finish it off with KFC. December 13, 2015, 4:21 pm This has never been my experience. As for them needing their space… I have yet to find one. They are clingy and insecure. Of course they dont seem like that in the beginning but oh do they show themselves. It was speaking right to my every thought and question. Thank you so much for writing and sharing this with me. Along with prayer this article has truly given me some peace! I am a female. The female part you guys described was always the male I talked to. It depends on the person not the gender. November 3, 2015, 2:03 am The only problem I have with this article is that its boyfriend — centric. Why are we entering our lives around how men interpret text messages and how we can alter our emotions to fit their perceptions of text messages? We should love our selves. October 18, 2015, 11:48 pm Agreed. The decision comes from the man or the woman. Please understand: You can be the quietest, sweetest, kindest person, and not every man will want to marry you. Yet I have never read an advice article that tells men not to nag a woman. October 27, 2015, 12:18 am This is article is useless and no one should take any of this crap seriously. If you have issues with your boyfriend, pray about it. This is why are youth is so lost. They have this kind of trash as advice. Geez… with this kind of advice you will never find a great guy…. There may be some guys that act like this …. Most men work and they mostly focus on their job… not a text.. This must be written for teens… not adults. October 7, 2015, 12:37 pm Actually i agree with the author. I think people who disagree have never read much about how men really are. How their mind works. She Absolutely nailed it. You need to open your mind a bit. Learn to face the truth instead of believing in fantasy world where men can do two tasks at same time. January 8, 2016, 1:09 am this is complete modern day immature teen drama bs,I am a man with autism,and I write as a hobby so I easily txt far more often than my fiance does,mostly because shes more of a person to person talker and I work during the day, but I have never had more than one girl,unless it was only at a friend status and something evolved with one at which point I would shut it down with the others,from the sound of it most of the woman responding to this asking if they should put up with a guys behavior because hes taking on multiple relationships. I think this advice will strengthen our relationship just because it opens a new world to me. I met a guy through speed dating and we went on two dates. A moment later, he messages me again asking if I was pissed off or upset. We continued talking normally for a couple hours after that. He then proceeded to not talk to me for 11 hours, so I did the same thing to him. FIrst of all dudes lose interest in texting because girls never make the first text saying hi or whats up they sit in there room doing absolutely nothing waiting for someone to show them enough attention that they may or may not respond, btw that was an ex. None of these apply to me lol, whenever i do get bored chasing girls its either because they dont put enough effort in at the start, or i find them to childish kinda like measuring relationship potential to texting. Dont flake out on meetups 2. Why dont you text him out of the blue instead of waiting on him 3. Dont talk about urself all the time 4. Too much room for misinterpretation and misunderstanding, and far too time consuming when you can say twice as much in half the time with a phone call. If you want to hear from a loved one, call them like a decent human being. Anyway I notice when I text him, his replies are mostly one to three words long, but when we meet up, we usually have an hour and over long conversations. June 23, 2015, 8:19 pm i like u guys u help so much there is this guy i meet months ago. June 18, 2015, 1:35 am Great article. We all know that 4 does not work though. Even if he does…he will resent the force you used. June 14, 2015, 1:28 pm Hi i am Sanaya from uk. He is studying law and keeps really busy. But he keeps giving lame excuses for not meeting me. This is our last chance to meet but he just has always something or the other to do. I want to end this cause its stupid he cant make time for me when are in the same cities forget what will become of us in the future. All he is doing is confusing the girl. Stay single and stop wasting our time. May 27, 2015, 12:13 am My boyfriend and I had been together for almost 2 years. He always uses to text me daily, call me at night, bring me out to date, being so nice to me. And when he make a mistake, he never apologised but put the blame on me in everything. I asked if he still love me, he say he always do but he doesnt seem like it is. He has been working as a bellman in a hotel, I understand his busy job but even so he always managed to text me during break. Now he always have excuses saying phone cant be used during work or even after work he would not even text me. Seeing me is like a burden now to him. May 20, 2015, 9:25 pm You should re-read the article, or better yet read Erics article about the art of Seducing a man. He talks about how a womans vibe and attitude effects the entire auroa of the relationship. Basically stop nagging your boyfriend. Let him know what you want and see if he makes it happen. Dont even do it with an attitude, just start signing yourself up for painting workshops, yoga classes, shop with your girls, go out for drink with friends, go out to eat. Do other things that, because busy. DO NOT revolve your life around your relationship and your man it will make him run. I think men do have feelings they are told to push down or are made to feel that way. I have to say, the moment I started to love myself, I found a bunch of guys vying for me. And I am not what you consider perfect in this day and age with looks and body type. I have left 2 of them for not giving what I asked for or told them what they were doing was going to get me to walk. They did not change the behavior, so I walked away. And I think it should be the same for men. Also, yes, sex is not an emotional part for a man like a woman and I think that is where a lot of hang ups come from for the relationship. Been there, done that! Learned a very hard lesson. I think, if we went back to the fact that every relationship has its ups and downs and make the effort to keep the relationship going despite what is accepted today, then we would have more that end up in continued marriage and not divorce. We need to respect, honor and appreciate each other for who that person IS, not a fantasy in our head. And yes, I have an alpha male who loves me beyond what I have even dreamed of. And he shows it, not only tells me, so ladies, real men are out there and there are more than we think. And I do not depend on him to make me feel things, but he does make me feel like the happiest woman in the world, because I allow him to be the man in the relationship and I am the woman. May 16, 2015, 10:44 am Could not agree more. It seems a lot of women depend on text messaging and words to make them feel wanted or secure about a relationship. It your relationship with someone is mostly over the phone and not in person, your probably not in a real relationship. I seen some of my friends spending all day texting a guy and seeing him close to never. You need to be able to communicate with the person about what you want and where things are heading but not from the beginning, you have to allow yourself to get to know the person. Girls you have to make him work for it. So I believe she loves me no more. What should I do…? Help anyone Please April 30, 2015, 10:34 am Wow, I was with you Paul, until you said, for the past 2 years of dating, she was cheating on you. So, since you seem to be using her, she in turn uses you. And I am not talking about paying for sex, but her emotions have to be put to the side because she lacks the relationship part from you. I think you need to re-evaluate YOUR motives instead of hers. Yes I agree actions speak louder than words but from my experience men who were feeling things were using words too. They wanted the full experience not half measures. A man who really loves is alert and actively listens to what you say. I have even seen it with men who were only flirting with me or even with a player who was trying to decode me. He has taken you for granted. Try arguing with him he will instantly remember that you said you like flowers and which flowers you like. How does this translate to you? The problem with 4 his baggage. Yes he might forget them if he senses he might lose you BUT he might forget them while there is danger. He will go back to his old ways as soon as the danger is gone. What you need to be focusing on is connection and make him feel happy around you and make him fall in love. Think about yourself being in a relationship with someone that you are not that into him. Would you want to settle down forever with this man? Same happens with men. When men are truly in love with a woman they do step forward and want to be with her forever. The problem is that most men are in a relationship for the wrong reasons and one of them is the benefits of having someone to care for them and the steady supply of sex. He would never mention about how he wanted to maintain his freedom. You might be able to work on highlighting his feelings for you. The rest are just old recycled excuses that give the right for disrespect. I give the same advice to men who think women are entitled to treat them with disrespect. She is not that into you mate. Take notice and take action. April 29, 2015, 5:23 am hi, Av been in a relationship for 2 n half years. I loved this guy and found myself so much into him. Am just so devastated, I love him so much. Am a person of good character and never wronged him. Am stuck April 27, 2015, 11:17 am I am a women, I have been dating a guy for four months now, we started talking as friends in November last year 2014. If he is in need of anything, Im always there for him, he used to play basketball, I would go out of town to support his dreams and video record his game match. So when I texted him shortly after that he responded back to me, saying that he expected my apologies. Monday I made him a plate of dinner that would last him for the week, until Sunday when he gets more money to buy some food. Then last night he sends me this shocking text saying that he is done, that he need to focus in himself now. And he also said that I need to just get it right. What does he mean, can you help me ladies and gentlemen please. Because yesterday he called me on my lunch break asking me about my hospital appointment and we were all fine. It is a piece of trash and honestly, is only spreading around old, distorted misinformation that makes it O. And I am SICK of hearing these articles say otherwise. Sorry, but sociology trumps biology in many cases, and people are more complex than this shitty article lets on. It is a big excuse not to take commitment and men want everything at the same time and think that it is normal. The only problem i have with this freedom, it is when this man takes decisions or act in a way that affect the freedom of the woman. Lies considered by a lot of men as freedom, are a non respect of the freedom of other persons. Why do u have anything to hide to the person u choose to live with? What kind of relation is it? But advice to all women who read this funny article. Of course we love to be shown love, but we also love to have a sense of missing our significant other in our relationships, it makes the relationship more exciting, and I agree with quality of time over quantity spent idea June 6, 2015, 2:42 am AJ we are all human and some of us need more freedom than others. Trust is the most important thing in a relationship. You need to give someone space. You want to be taken seriously Stop Texting!!! April 7, 2015, 1:08 am I am deeply in love w my bf of a few years. My mom thinks he is obsessed with me though. Because my cellphone came up missing after a couple months of dating, he came over I had my phone. This was a few days after my ex tested me asking to get back together. Yesterday an emergency situation happened and I had my bf credit card I had my phone on the charger and missed his 17 calls.. He has never harmed me or shown up unannounced or gave me any reason to question him or his intentions. April 6, 2015, 6:22 pm I would watch my back if I were you. You probably have your head in the clouds. He sounds like a douche bag! I do think your mom has a point. Please, never rush into anything and always think twice. April 13, 2015, 7:35 pm GOOD AFTERNOON. I MET THIS GUY ONE LINE. I FEEL LOVE FOR HIM AND CARE DEEPLY. POINT AGE DEFERANCE AND HIS AGE HIS IS 26 AND IM 45. WE TEXT EVERY DAY HE SAYS HE FEELS EMOTIONAL FOR ME. JUST YESTURDAY HE TELLS ME HE MISSES ME AND I AM ALWAYS ON HIS MIND. QUESTION IS HE FALLING IN LOVE WITH ME? March 28, 2015, 4:50 pm Ha ha ha ha. As a woman I prefer the direct question rather than dancing around on eggshells: it causes way too much stress. You need more from your relationship and by the sounds of it, she cannot provide it for you. Do you feel you can talk to her? There is also a chance she is sleeping around or dating around and likes more than one person, so she might not want to hurt you by getting too close. Before that we phoned each other almost everyday even though we have not met up yet. He lives in a different city. So for 6 months we had been contacting each other only through phone and we finally met up in oct. We had a great date for 4 days and he already confessed to me. I guess we had a very strong chemistry so I accept him. The day after that I had to go back to my city. At first it was still okay. We skyped almost every nighT. He often texts me sweetly saying he loves and misses me alot and we talked about our future Of living together. But gradually he became cold and distant. And on our 1st month anniversary he asked for a break. He said he couldnt stand long distance. The day after i didnt text him. He was the one who initiate it. I only replied with a cold manner. Suddenly he became like his old self. He said he was lonely and regret everthing for taking me for granted. So our relationship became to get better like how it used to be. He said hes not sure till we meet again. So i met him this february. We had a date like lovers. I went back back home. He doesnt become cold now but still feel a little distant. Its still different compared to the time before the break. He is not as sweet as the old times. And hes so busy recently. I said I miss him so much and ask him if he miss me too. He said he does not miss me because he is busy. It hurts so much. Does he really love me or just enjoy my company? Please someone help coz im so confused. Are boys really like that? Coz if not all boys are like that then i would dump him for real. I am so tired of him. It feels like he doesnt try hard enough to keep me. March 19, 2015, 6:25 am My ex boyfriend cared about texts, he lived by texting. Our entire communcation was based on texts. It was a huge problem for me and it helped my decision to finally end it after a year +. Even after ending things, he sent an apology via text…. I have never felt so disregarded before with other boyfriends by means of communication. March 18, 2015, 11:02 am This article has some good points and some average points. What you need to know is 1. Focus on yourself the relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you will ever have and needs to be cultivated for the rest of your life. You will find everything you need within yourself. Focus on a higher power, God, angles, Buddha, Allah, whatever that is for you is fine. Turn inward God lives there and or to a higher power for your answers… Do not put your faith, trust, and worth in the worthless people and things that do not know your truth. Your truth does not change with the seasons, fashions, boyfriends, hairstyles it is forever perfect and good. Your truth will sustain you. Do not invest in illusions of curvy or skinny bodies, doing tricks in bed, or thinking something outside of you will get a man! Do not bet your most valuable parts and self — heart, body, mind, spirit, into relationships that may fail you… Find Empowerment within. You are the most important thing you OWN treat yourself as such. You must come first that is the order of life. Nothing is more important than your own happiness. Oddly enough all that you are seeking is within you already. The love, approval, and peace all in you not outside or in his pants. You have to cultivate the relationship with yourself to experience the jewel within, the joy and the empowerment. Stop worrying about boys and what they want and know what you need and want first. No one gives or takes away your worth! You are born with endless deserving, value and worth. You have to pay attention to yourself and have a healthy relationship with yourself to experience it for yourself. He does not take it with him when he breaks up with you or give it to you when you have sex. You are the Goddess you attract you create your life. You have the power. Your happiness and that you feel good about you is the main ingredient to being alluring. Always get a contract an agreement -everything on the table — clarify both your needs up front before you do anything. Let him show you he can do- has committed, is being consistent, before you move from your Pedestal. March 10, 2015, 2:06 pm This article has some good points and some average points. What you need to know is 1. Focus on yourself the relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you will ever have and needs to be cultivated for the rest of your life. You will find everything you need within yourself. Focus on a higher power, God, angles, Buddha, Allah, whatever that is for you is fine. Turn inward God lives there and or to a higher power for your answers… Do not put your faith, trust, and worth in the worthless people and things that do not know your truth. Your truth does not change with the seasons, fashions, boyfriends, hairstyles it is forever perfect and good. Your truth will sustain you. Do not invest in illusions of curvy or skinny bodies, doing tricks in bed, or thinking something outside of you will get a man! Do not bet your most valuable parts and self — heart, body, mind, spirit, into relationships that may fail you… Find Empowerment within. You are the most important thing you OWN treat yourself as such. You must come first that is the order of life. Nothing is more important than your own happiness. Oddly enough all that you are seeking is within you already. The love, approval, and peace all in you not outside or in his pants. You have to cultivate the relationship with yourself to experience the jewel within, the joy and the empowerment. Stop worrying about boys and what they want and know what you need and want first. No one gives or takes away your worth! You are born with endless deserving, value and worth. You have to pay attention to yourself and have a healthy relationship with yourself to experience it for yourself. He does not take it with him when he breaks up with you or give it to you when you have sex. You are the Goddess you attract you create your life. You have the power. Your happiness and that you feel good about you is the main ingredient to being alluring. Always get a contract an agreement -everything on the table — clarify both your needs up front before you do anything. Let him show you he can do- has committed, is being consistent, before you move from your Pedestal. He has not asked me to be his girlfriend yet and it has been almost 4 months. We hook up like 3 times a week. He has met some of my family and friends. He use to text me back all the time and I would not text him that often because I did not want him to feel like I was blowing up his phone, But like I said he was really good about texting me back or he was always the one to text first. Should I leave him alone and just wait for him to text me? Or should I ask him if he is ok? I know I am not his girlfriend but he tells me he loves me. I am so confused. February 19, 2015, 7:10 pm you hook up three times a week! March 4, 2015, 9:16 am lol lee im sitting here laughing because i zoned out about 5 sentices in. I think Even you should maybe vent but NOT ABOUT SO MANY ISSUES AT ONE TIME. Men are not rabbits. Having sex with a man before you are together is O. Seriously, at least ask him what is going on and be CONFIDENT. He might be telling you he loves you so he can sleep with you. Like I said, I suspect this guy is total garbage for you, so you really need to get serious with him. And is the only way you two communicate via text? Because, next time, PLEASE try and spend more time with someone before you get involved. April 13, 2015, 7:52 pm My bf of a yr. He has expressed concern of the distance repeatedly.. His response was we are not there yet.. But, yet says he wants me to move to him but in my own place.. If you want me to live by you, why not with you?? February 19, 2015, 12:18 pm Interesting…. He say you are not there yet. Where is there to the place he is clear he wants to sleep with someone else or there he wants to dump you. Look my dear you have to have everything you want in a relationship before you go moving anywhere. He is not sounding secure,and stable in this committment yet. Have you talked engagement yet, seeing you as a lifelong partner yet? Have you met all the important people to him and he your people. Are you feeling that he is in love with you, and you him willing to give you the level of a committment you desire? And what is up with if you dont move there it will be the end of you. Really well I hope you are moving for more then just him cause he sounds like this is a fun test for him. I would not move unless and untill he puts a ring on it or you have more reasons then him to move. Dont ever move in with someone with out a sold agreement of what are your terms. What you want for this move. Dont let him tell you how your life is gonna go you do have some say you are the prize here. Dont rearrange your life for someone that is not 100 % sure you are what he wants you deserve a stable clear headed partner that can give you want you want. Be empowered, be fem! You have your own life to manage let him him come to you. You are the sure one in this not him… Let him sell you on why you should move there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! March 10, 2015, 1:12 pm My boyfriend is very good and looking handsome. But he is very tough personality. In every fight he makes me that I am wrong. And then he treated me like nothing for him. And when I am trying to call him or msg he treats very rudely. I feel like, I have no self respect. Sometimes I thought that broke up this relationship but I have no dare to do this i love him so much. Mainly we fight on this issue that he has no time for me. When we meet and discuss on this issue, he told me that in anger he forget all the feelings and he hates those person who fight with him. I love him so much, and he knows that. He also love me. Please tell me what should I do : February 18, 2015, 5:28 am It does not matter if you dump or not If you dont work on the relationship with yourself you will only attract another looser like him. You must get your self esteem as high as you possibly can! Your answer will be so clear once you work on focusing on yourself. What you want in a career, education, health, spiritual life, financial, friends, what you want and what you are willing to do to have it. Focus on the type of relationship you want how you want to be treated and FEEL…. Ia m sure this is not how you want to be treated or feel so why put up with it. You dont have to be in a relationship. Get you right and a good person will match. March 10, 2015, 1:20 pm Sorry to sound so harsh, but you need to know that you are in an emotionally abusive relationship. You are being abused and neglected and NEED to leave him for your own health and well-being. PLEASE get OUT of the relationship and FORGET about the love you feel. You will know when you have found the right person and he clearly is NOT it. I am sorry, but you need to hear it. April 13, 2015, 8:00 pm Number 4 is oh so true! He lives 2 hours and a half away from me, he came to my door almost begging for me to come back, he was ready this time to be in a relationship and that he was sorry. He was so afraid of losing me cause I was practically breaking up with him that he drove 2 hours and a half to apologize and be in a serious relationship with me. Although this is the exact way articles are normally written, but for males gain, try posting stuff like this and watch all of the men who would fear a world ruled by changing for women freak out. Redirected name calling, bullying, bashing, and out right unfocused anger because they have no logical reason to be upset. January 5, 2015, 2:27 pm I completely agree, why do women have to change in order to please a guy? Is terrible that people actully think this is how is should be, and i even worse that they publish this stupid things. February 8, 2015, 5:25 pm I totally agree! This article is complete one-sided garbage. I have never seen an article telling men how THEY can improve, even though a lot of men seriously need to learn. Men ARE capable of communication and I am so tired of articles giving excuses for them. It is time they listened to what THEY need to work on as well. April 16, 2015, 6:07 pm i need help with my relationship. Men are in relationships for themselves. They want something from the other one. THEY— want to be wooed. I DID NOT do much in one relationship because I wanted to test the waters to see if he would give FIRST. The relationship went NO — WHERE. Maybe a candle-lite homemade meal or a romantic happy-hour at his place. You get it, something simple. NEVER happened with several. When I got divorced I realized the ex and many others liked to be wooed — I NEVER got wooed. I gave an gave and really got very little in return — actually nothing. I would visit him after work 10pm there was never any snacks or hot chocolate, no hot tea waiting for me, especially in winter! No ice tea or lemonade in summer, either. They have to woo me — first. December 22, 2014, 2:14 pm we all want something from the relationship……. That only comes when both sides work at it. If it is not there move on i know thats hard but what this artical says is true. If he cares and thinks it through he WILL WAKE UP. April 4, 2015, 6:20 pm It was the same pyschopath posting both times, the three minutes apart gives it away. All these articles claim men want more than anything to make their woman happy, yet I see very few actually even trying to. As if a relationship should not involve any compromise or sacrifice. Fine then, stay single. They will be perpetually so anyway, with that belief. April 16, 2015, 6:13 pm Ya, I agree. If you work in a job that employs mostly women, they only open their mouths to talk about — babies! They only bond with other women that have — babies! Another takes over their work when they leave to have a — baby. As far as school, they only return to show everyone the — baby and then drop out! I wish there was an island to discard them and leave them there to ENJOY their live with kids! Their kids belong at — home, not out in public. Their raising whinny brats. They only care about themselves in a workplace or school setting. At this age, I understand why men cheat! A women delivered coffee to this office that I worked at, she was shocked that when the kids left to college, there was no relationship with her husband — he left too. Just like I read stuff written for men I also read stuff written for women. What a waste of time. Sam November 27, 2014, 5:14 pm Thank you! This article chilled me out. We went on a date and it was awesome. So I need to quit overthinking everything and just calm down. November 25, 2014, 4:12 pm Question. I was taking to a male and female co-worker one day during our break. From personal experience, I dated this one guy and I was the ideal girlfriend I guess you could say. We spent about a year together I never had any doubts, I trusted him completely, and I felt that we completely loved each other. Turns out he had cheated on me about five months into our relationship and I was completely oblivious to it. I actually found out through one of my friends. I confronted my now ex and told me it was true. I need some clarification as to what my male co-worker said. November 10, 2014, 10:58 pm Spot on — especially the texting and freedom part. My freedom is the most important thing in my entire life along with my solitude. I have frequent short-term sexual relationships, but it inevitably all turns up the same. I get a text from my best male friends and I go days without answering, and most of the time I just never answer. I have a very specific set of ideals. If a woman is not able to give me space, it signals to me that she has no life. When a woman begins getting hung up about every little text and phone call and what the tone of my voice means, then I know emphatically that she is weak, that she has no life, that she has no goals. However, I doubt that will ever happen. November 29, 2014, 10:22 pm Very interesting that you are comfortable with being alone yet you are on a website about relationships and dating. I think when you meet the one, whatever that exactly is for you, you might have a change in ideals. December 16, 2014, 10:37 pm Neero, I am sure that if you traveled the whole world, you will find someone who is not only a renaissance girl, but someone who inspires you. I have seen what can happen to a person who has no real friends. A girl who inspires you will always be different, not only because of what makes her unique, but also for her sense of comfort with herself. Most girls I have met are concerned about mundane things, such as texting or cup sizes. There are girls out there who are passionate about what they do, like me, and you should be a part of their life, not their whole life as you said. I hope you find your destiny. I hope you find your best friend and love, for that in my opinion is the best kind of relationship. Mine told me he traveled all over the world while serving our country, and all he had to do was go around the corner, and there I was. I hope you find the love of your life worth going to the stars and moon for. Just my opinion : December 30, 2014, 12:18 am You come off as very arrogant, selfish and immature. Real strong, stable and independent women will not want men like you. You project your own thoughts onto women and disrespect them without trying to understand. Well let me tell you: real women want men who are responsible, mature and can handle their own weight in a relationship. They want a man — someone with strength as great as theirs, and not a boy — someone who just does as he pleases. With your standards, you will only find someone like you instead: an arrogant, selfish and immature female version of yourself. January 3, 2015, 11:16 pm As a person yearning and reaching to be a wondering writer such as yourself, I agree and understand that having the ability to go anywhere, anytime and do anything is important. Classifying every woman as needy and controlling is not fair since their actions stem from your same need, to feel secure in something, not that you were grouping all women. The need to feel safe is not met, we lash out in fear, and you are driven further away by your clostrophobic fears. You get your distance, she gets support. Then you travel the world experiencing everything with a mind as adventurous and cunning as your own, and nothing feels better than that. January 5, 2015, 3:00 pm lol.. And never quite got it. I have been told to play head games, mirror their image. That all sounded like too much work. Who wants to make keeping a boyfriend your full time job. Your article just tells it like it is. No scamming with a build up to make you buy a book. You spoke in lamens terms, and it made me giggle, and smile, and look at my man in a whole new light. October 31, 2014, 2:34 am What if all the no-no that you have mentioned above is done by the guy instead? How do I deal with it? October 11, 2014, 2:57 pm Well my experience… My ex-husband was very kind at first , somewhere along the line he became a devil, my new boyfriend is acting like a robot being over nice ,promising me marriage , saying he wants twelve.. Like seriously and what help ed me not to fall for this was experience and relationship advice. Now he wants twelve babies out of wedlock, I told him you use Condoms and everyone is happy , cos I will never be pregnant for a stranger, when the fun is over we all go our separate ways without baggages. I am sorry for any girl that falls for such guys. So he broke up. I am so heartbroken but I work on myself and that gives me my joy and happiness.. Their failed relationship is a proof of their unsuitability for marriage business. And these kind of women are always men hating, men killing , men nagging, men shaming feminists. I know some guys will still go ahead and remarry these idiots. December 12, 2014, 3:03 pm I am a single mom and my failed relationship was due to him cheating while I was at he with our 5 week old baby.. We are all different with different happenings in life. So texting is my primary mode of communication. In my case, not texting boils down to lack of consideration and non-interest. August 29, 2014, 3:27 pm I really liked this article. With regards to the texting I have some questions though. He is awesome in person but makes very little effort over texts. Yeah he never ignores my texts and he shows interest when I ask him out. Is it too soon for this kind of behavior? August 20, 2014, 2:36 pm Babe he him some time. He will likely miss you if you play your game right. Now this is the game plan: Each time he calls you or texts you, act really happy and excited. Do this even when you guys cross paths. All these should happen within 30 seconds. You will see him rush immediately and he wil even forget he needed time off completely. When they play Prince Charming early in the relationship, they should be a little more understanding that women are going to have hurt feelings when they stop this behavior out of the blue, without explanation. There are plenty of men who are sincere and let the relationship progress at a healthy pace, thereby avoiding the freak out mode. Men who pour it on thick in the beginning, only to call you needy when you return the gestures are not good men to be with. If they do this, just move on. The more we give into this behavior, the more it becomes accepted. August 15, 2014, 8:33 pm Hey, This is such a great read! I have a question: do you agree that making plans in a relationship, is a given? That is, that a man will automatically make plans to see you and he will WANT to make plans? Or does the idea of making plans for men equal losing their freedom? And therefore it is something to avoid, even when they commit to you? Can you puts things straight for me please. July 25, 2014, 6:51 am I dont know how to ask a question But i am in problem , i am engaged girl its 2 months ago but i know he is not at all interested in me from starting we dont have love relation it is arrange marriage i dont thing so he ever fall in love with me I cant break this engagement coz of family but i really want solution please highlight some solutions i am subscribed to nem mode also He is not in love with me but he is not behaving anything bad with me his behaviour is good with me but he doesnt love me I need help please July 9, 2014, 12:58 pm Hello Helen, My parents have very simple living and thinking so they suggested to continue. Yes i talk with my fiyancee i said indirectly also and directly also that u dont like me but he is saying it is nothing like that. But it doesnt mean he is not listening to me but only 10% Is there any way that he will fall in love with me please please please help July 10, 2014, 3:52 am Dear Gita, Your problem seems to be the traditions of your culture. You can either choose to go ahead with the marriage and risk a life of no love but with the possibility of peaceful co existence OR tell your parents you do not want to go ahead with the marriage. From what you wrote it sounds like you have some feelings for the guy. July 10, 2014, 6:35 am simple solution! Be INTERESTING TO HIM. Wear your hear for him. I dreaded him coming home from work. I got a new relationship and we were the best of friends, lovers, partners. He is married today to another and sent me a mess thru classmates telling me that we had a great time TOGETHER. Pay attention to current events, have an opinion about something. Men want a friend, an interesting partner in a relationship, whether a girlfriend or wife. He is all about actions and the texting part is definitely just a sign that he is still having his own life as I do as well. Thanks again for such a well put article. June 27, 2014, 10:16 am Thank you so much Sabrina! The article made perfect sense to me! Although I learnt to deal with everything that is mentioned here, but sometimes you start getting in doubt… Reading this article every time gives me loads of positive energy and helps me stay strong and happy!! Thank you very much! June 30, 2014, 8:37 am Richie — is there a specific point or points you disagree with? I knew all his friends and frankly I really liked most of them and I got along with their girlfriends and them so it was never a big deal to hang out with them. That part about men wanting to make women happy? June 27, 2014, 10:34 am 1!! I have never read dating advice online. This site is awesome!! Me and my bf have been together almost 3 years. The past couple weeks he has not been texting me as much. In the past he has called me multiple times a day and texted, being more needy then I am in general. We talked tonight about how I feel ignored lately and I asked him whats up. He said he just has been busy and wants to feel like a man, not a guy in high school, calling to just tell me he loves me a few times a day, he wants me to focus on finishing college, and have my own life and do what i want. I think he feels too dependent and needy making him feel less of a man. After reading this he wants more freedom maybe. So for other girls reading this, it works both ways!! Worry about yourself sometimes, and not just pleasing him always. If you do your own thing and give some space, I think it makes men want you more. It makes me want him more too. Also, when something bothers either one of us, we say hey this is whats up and then we talk not argue and deal with it. So that is also true in this from my experience. I also want to note that how much he desires your appreciation depends entirely on how much he values YOU as a romantic partner, and that has to do with how you inspire him and give him confidence, if you make your bf feel good about himself as a man, his desire for your appreciation will go up. March 13, 2014, 6:40 pm Helen, you have been hurt, and clearly more than once. However, I am here to tell you that you are not talking about men when you say that in reference to item 3. A real man, in touch with what he wants and how his actions effect others will always want to make you happy. The hurt game is played by boys who want to keep you unbalanced and at arms length. Sadly, it sounds as if you have not met many men. I have a 16 yr old son, and much of this advice about men I can apply to him also in a way…I am truly feeling much happier and hopeful in life now that I am learning how men tick…. I will def be buying your books! Noone gives you the right to say what we think, or feel. September 12, 2013, 2:31 pm Reading the article made me sad. About two months ago, I met what I thought was a wonderful man through a dating website. I felt he was different, I thought that he would never hurt me. Few weeks after our first encounter, he admitted that he lied and hide some details about him. Well, I just told him that I understand why he was not willing to share his whole life with someone he has just met through the web. The next two weeks after his revelations were actually very great. I could sense that he really liked me. After those few days, he just stopped communicating with me. Texting was our only way to communicate. He canceled all of our meetings for about 4 weeks I did it once, but I have a very good excuse… medical reasons! I know he has an erratic schedule, but he was basically spending all of his free time hanging out with friends. I was hurt, but I thought that I should not expect to become the center of his world after only few weeks. At the end of those 4 weeks, I was just mad at him, and discouraged. To be honest, my self-esteem is already low enough, it is not healthy for me to wait after someone who will perhaps never come to me. I said that I was very deceitful because I really liked him, and that I was hurt that he could not even make an hour or so to see me. I felt that I was rude! Fine, I was fine with that… We continued to be in touch, and I finally agreed to see him at his place after his job on Sunday night. At the end, we shared some intimacy touching and kissing. Anyway, on Monday night, I texted to know if everything was fine. And it really does hurt me. I really try to be comprehensive, but it just seems that there is no room for me in his life. November 28, 2012, 12:15 am I think about the woman I love every waking minute. If you actually love someone, you can no more stop lvoing them than you can stop breathing…and either leads to death. There are people in my love that I love and would do anything for. Even if they were no longer in my life. Are you suggesting that the only suitable men to be in relationships are extremely testosterone endowed? Would you recommend that men who are unsuccessful with women should just do steroids? That would be quite a world to see…. Even if they were no longer in my life. If u love people, it is ur present that u need to share with them, every moment. Otherwise, if u are lucky, yes maybe they will live long. Maybe they will die tomorrow. Help me what should i do And i havent talked to him for a long time Then people forced us to slow dance We talked a little And um After that Things kind of got awkward I tried talking to him And then he said ttyl I said okayy Then um He didnt go online for 2 days And he NEVER REPLIES to my OFFLINE MESSAGE Why? Does he not care And he never texts me first Why? November 5, 2012, 4:34 pm i must say i resent most of what is written in this article. It is clearly placing all men in a single category, saying we are all the same and thats that. I came across this article because all this is happening to me. I always have to initiate calls and messages now. I know she is free and doing nothing and yet still doesnt find 10seconds to send a simple message. Its me who has ended up analysing, being frustrated and constantly waiting for the phone to ring. She comes to see me rarely, we have sex, then she leaves, now i just feel like im being used, it feels awful. I cannot agree with the advice given in this article, every person and situation is different and cannot be generalised. November 4, 2012, 11:28 am Im with this guy for 5 months now, and he is ignoring me like to the max. At first, he was very very close to me. Now he says he is quite busy. But, when we talk or text, I really feel that he really cares by the way he talk. But recently, he is being like im a stranger. On the 20th was my 5th month anniversary, he wished me in the morning, saying that he was sorry for not being early coz he slept early last night, and he even told me that he wont be able to talk to me till Tuesday, as he is very busy. He has time for others, as he comes on whatsapp again and again to chat with others. But, he hasnt got any time for. Im very scared of this situation. I really dont wana end this relationship with him. I really need some advise on this matter. Is he really not into me now? Is he really ignoring me? Has he lost interest in me? What should I do? October 26, 2012, 5:44 am Nashy-this guy has obviously lost interest in you unfortunately. He is putting a lot of emotional distance between the two of you by not having any time to hang out online or even in person. The fact that you say he is acting like a stranger is a blinking neon sign that he wants out of this relationship. Try distancing yourself from him-stop initiating all contact. If he wants to talk to you because he misses you, he will let you know in some way. Wish you the best of luck! In the beginning of the relastionship he struggled when he meet me if he should date me because he had planned on being free as a bird for the next year and work on his career. However on our first date he drove 50 miles to pick me up…he talked so easily the whole ride.. We skyped alot for weeks, I live 50 miles away so we hung out a few days a week having the most fun. He hated texting would mostly call.. Thank you though, this has given me insight into what woman think we want. October 18, 2012, 3:40 pm In that case Charl maybe you can expand on what men want. I agree with number 4 and 5 the most. This happened t me not long ago. I was dating my bf quite casually for the past few months. He would give me very little attention. I finally told him how I felt and that I would feel hrrible if he treated me like a fwb. So after voicing out myself, he became more attentive and even made up to me by taking me on a very awesome trip. It was great and I love how he appreciates me. I do believe in giving my man freedom. Because I appreciate the freedom too. I like attention but too much attention turns me down. I use to bug my bf a lot too but once I thought in his shoe, I got over it. November 2, 2012, 11:09 pm I remember when I met this great looking Italian guy at my college homecomming. He was standing outside a crappy bar with his friends and he was the only one that was not smoking. I looked at him and I was like wow hes hot. I had to tell him that even if he did not want to hear it so I told him he was really cute. A smile came upon his face and he said the same to me. I started to hang out with him at the bar like I had known him forever. I learned he grew up in state college and he had a sister that I went to High school with. He was in amazing shape and he was big into sports. We had so much in common and his sense of humor matched mine. We talked til 7am in the morning but after that we went on another date and dated for like two months until one day he decided to never talk to me again. I said why, what did I do, we are having such a great time with each other why would you just walk away. I learned that he did not have the best relationship with his father and his father was diagnosed with cancer. As much as my heart went out to him and wanted to pray that his father gets better and that he is able to re-establish a great relationship with his father. I also feel he probably thought why would I want a guy with a lower education level than mine but the fact was he was a christian and to me that means more than some education level statues. But the last time I had spoken to him I told him to go for his dreams to be a personal trainer because I can see how he can be an inspiration to a lot of people and per haps someday be a trainer on the biggest loser because he has that kind of ever lasting effect on people. But in my hopes I wish I could see him again and I am far away from home now and I am dating someone new but still some how I still think of the great times I had with this amazing guy. Even though the g uy I see now has a PhD and he is much older than me and pays for everything we do besides the fact we argue every day and it takes like nothing to piss him off. I hope someday my paths cross with the italian but if not I hope I meet someone like him because he seemed so perfect to me. Maybe he will fit better in your life today. A relationship LIKE THAT only COMES ALONG — ONCE. You may not find that type of relationship ever again. December 22, 2014, 2:04 pm I have been hanging out with this guy off and on for 5 years now. He takes me out and has mentioned wanting to meet my son, but gets scared and takes off. Will he grow to accept I have a child someday if he likes me enough? My son would actually love someone like him around because they share the same interests. September 12, 2012, 10:50 am I had a similar situation that age. Lack of maturity most def had a role, but it was mainly due to me not wanting to deal with any baby daddy drama. That changed up after I met her daughter…the freak came out of her! September 15, 2012, 12:55 pm What Call Me later just said is he was seeing a girl who had a kid. He met the kid the daughter and he was repulsed because he thought the kid was a freak — probably her behavior pushed him over the edge? So now he considers all women with kids to be off-limits. Many men feel this way. October 6, 2012, 4:02 pm Yes, you would make him responsible for your child; a single person knows this when getting involved with a person with a kid!! CONSIDER talking about and sensitive issues that need to resolved BEFORE meeting your child! As long as the child is in the room, you would MAKE him responsible. As the relationship gets serious — THERE WILL BE — more forced responsibility. I instead got caught up on all of my college work and had began to hang out with friends more. But, one of my guy friends kept asking me out and was always coming on to me. I continually pushed him away, so he stopped after a while. What would be a good way of finding out? August 24, 2012, 7:01 am Your 12… Its not love sweety. Trust me rather break it off with him and focus on school and enjoy your life? Your still so young, why do you want to get your heart broken by a couple of jerks? Sounds like he just likes the idea of having a gf. Yeah, have crushes and go on group dates but even then I would wait till I was older. August 23, 2012, 11:44 am they are scared of one thing only — losing their freedom but if you can find something else they fear spiders, blood, the dark you can have a serious amount of fun teasing them about it when you get upset with them they hate it — but at least you can have fun. Girls over react to everything! I tried being understanding because I know about 6 months before we met, he got out of a 3 year relationship with a very painful ending. I did badger him a bit about it but after a while with nothing changing, I got fed up and told him we wanted two different things and that we should go our separate ways. That was 3 weeks ago. Well about a week ago, he started texting me again. He tells me he misses me, calls me gorgeous, Hun, babe, etc. August 14, 2012, 10:35 am Just curious: Any word on what happened with this? I was in the same exact situation. It CAN happen : August 13, 2013, 10:18 am i disagree with 5 … Freedom??? PLEASE well, by experience i use to give so much freedom that either i got blame of not caring or the other side was i got cheated on…. And another thing I found her dating another man. When I started reading your book have come across important things which I have started following , I first cleared him through an sms , where I wrote him as to agreeing on his point of not getting involved as he is not ready , to make him comfortable that he can decide and settle things on professional level, I communicate him through sending few sms …now my ex boy friend has told me not to come to apache lounge anymore which is only place I can meet my beau…now this is a big barrier as somewhere I can at least see him for a while, which can make my day….. August 2, 2012, 2:55 am 3 is so true! I might have to repeat myself a few times, but the results have been worth it! I went through a period of feeling frustrated that I had to tell him it felt so unromantic! We love our women and if we are in love with you, our number one goal is pleasing you. Sometimes things need to be spelled out for us. Sometimes they even need to be spelled out VERY clearly. As in speak very slowly and repeat as necessary. We need to be taught the things that please you. We are men and we often need to be trained. Training us however is not to be confused with changing us, and that I think is where miscommunication often begins and confusion sets in. July 30, 2012, 3:59 am sounds great! But communicate to us whatever it is that you want! It takes 2 to make a relationship and 1 to tear it down!! MEN need to learn to communicate more and NOT leave it up to the female!! Women are just as simple as men. What does she like? What has she enjoyed doing in the past and add more or it. A relationship IS a partnership — a partnership can run like a successful business or not. It can EXIST or run successfully. Changing YOU is what makes a partnership OR business run Successfully. Employees must change to make a business run successfully — a relationship IS a partnership, a business!! TO run successfully EVERYONE in the relationship needs to change! April 17, 2013, 2:26 pm So letttme get this straight….. I would think if he had to work late once in awhile and wanted to reschedule that would be more than reasonable. I appreciate the effort but I recently started seeing someone in the last month that will text all day and night. July 31, 2012, 3:27 pm Very well written and worth the read. Your thoughts are all in your head, your gut is right the majority of the time. If you truly feel his compassion for you, he probably feels the same way about you. Just continue to live your life. Force your thoughts outside of trying to read his. If you feel the connection, you are probably right that there is one. Be the person he fell in love with originally. Encourage his freedom, as well as your own. February 21, 2015, 1:10 pm.

I am so tired of him. I agree with you. Do: Ask him if he wants to do something specific with you, at a specific time. Always good morning and good night messages. Anon I was in a bar and he was there with his friends too. Before I left I also told him I enjoyed the weekend and looked forward to getting to know each other better. May 9, 2016, 10:08 pm To Iola: First of all, shame on you for la weed. When he does something you like and appreciate, acknowledge it and reward him for it. We continued talking normally for a couple hours after that. I had this friend we were super close. He snapped me several timesand texted but he hsnt too been that into it.